B-LG Week 8 Power Rankings: Happy Halloween

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Top 5 remains the same

Top 5 remains the same

If you still haven’t figured out what you’re going to dress up as this year, worry not. In the spirit of Steve‘s time-honored tradition, this week I will be telling all of you what you should be this Halloween.

But please guys and gal, let’s try not to take my commentary so seriously.

ICYMI: Podcast #8 with JC and a cameo by Grace

 

Week 8 Quick Hits

  • I’ve officially muted the Yahoo app as I can no longer tolerate my phone buzzing me every few seconds to read Fernando and Daryl yap about trading defenses or Ravi cry about Durant ruining his Warrior fandom
  • The Roger Strikes Again as he executes yet another multiplayer trade that sent Gurley, Jordan Matthews, and Russell Shepard to Fernando for Dion Lewis, Demaryius, and Alshon
  • Brandon somehow staved off Fernando in a Monday night thriller that ended 137.88-137.52
  • Grace needs 3 more consecutive wins to tie Jason for the longest winning streak in B-LG history. Jason went on a godsent lucky run in 2011 winning 10 games in a row on his way to the title that year
  • Defense wins championships? The New Token Chick is currently averaging just 101.31 points against her which actually clocks in just shy of the all-time low record of 101.75 set by Patrick in 2011

 

Commish’s Picks

Overall YTD: 25-17

Last Week: 5-2
Lock of the Week YTD: 5-1
Upset Special YTD: 4-2
.

Commish’s Week 7 Picks

Dom > Zak (W).
Mike > Ravi *Upset Special* (L).
Min > Jason (W).
Roger > Daryl (L).
Brandon > Fernando (W).
Grace > Max (W).
JC > Jay *Lock of the Week* (W).

Commish’s Week 8 Picks

Grace > Zak
Brandon > Ravi
Daryl > Min *Upset Special*
Jason > Jay *Lock of the Week*
Mike > Roger
Dom > Fernando
JC > Max


HaZe

1 Dom

RECORD: 5-2
LAST: 1
TREND: uparrow 0

Dominic is a ninja. He is stealthy and deadly. He never says a word or shows his face but can strike a lethal blow to your fantasy team in any week.

Commish’s Pick: WIN vs Fernando

TwoInchKilla

2 JC

RECORD: 6-1
LAST: 2
TREND: uparrow 0

JC is a Walking Dead zombie. Everyone thought he was dead after a last place campaign in 2015, however he has risen from the dead in 2016 but is still slow and harmless like those whack ass zombies are in the show.

Commish’s Pick: WIN vs Max

EBDBBnB

3 Grace

RECORD: 7-0
LAST: 3
TREND: uparrow 0

Grace is Hillary Clinton. Just like Hil’, she is the only lady amongst a sea of men. And just like the soon-to-be POTUS, she is leading this league and defeating lowly boys on a weekly basis.

Commish’s Pick: WIN vs Zak

PROTECT THIS HOUSE

4 Min

RECORD: 5-2
LAST: 4
TREND: uparrow 0

Min is a royal Queen’s Guard. He is silent and expressionless, but he always Protects his House.

Commish’s Pick: LOSS vs Daryl *Upset Special*

Zeke Da Sneak

5 Daryl

RECORD: 4-3
LAST: 5
TREND: uparrow 0

Little D is Buzz Lightyear. Constantly in the shadows of Woody his big bro Presley, but younger, stronger, and way better looking.

Commish’s Pick: WIN vs Min *Upset Special*

The Rebound

6 Brandon

RECORD: 3-4
LAST: 7
TREND: uparrow 1

The only costume I could give Brandon is of course a mime. In spite being one of the few players that have played in every season of the B-LG, he’s said very little over the years. One of Fernando’s badly misspelled sentences is probably more than Brandon has said in the last 7 seasons.

Commish’s Pick: WIN vs Ravi

Moncrief Me A Rivers

7 Zak

RECORD: 3-4
LAST: 6
TREND: uparrow 1

Zak is Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp) from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I’ll leave it up to your imagination to figure out why.

Commish’s Pick: LOSS vs Grace *Upset Special*

Ravi’s Team

8 Ravi

RECORD: 3-4
LAST: 8
TREND: uparrow 0

I know Ravinder already used this last year, but come on. He has to be The Weeknd. Dude looks just like him.

Commish’s Pick: LOSS vs Brandon

Siberian Pant Snake

9 Max

RECORD: 3-4
LAST: 10
TREND: uparrow 1

Max is a Catholic Priest. Like those priests, he loves him some pant snakes.

Commish’s Pick: LOSS vs JC

Tornado

10 Fernando

RECORD: 2-5
LAST: 9
TREND: uparrow 1

Fernando is Donald Trump. He is an outspoken vocal leader of this league but says the most ridiculous things that most people laugh at but don’t understand. Oh yeah he also loves Mexicans.

Commish’s Pick: LOSS vs Dom

Hoyerrible Injury

11 Roger

RECORD: 3-4
LAST: 11
TREND: uparrow 0

Roger is a community service volunteer. He is selfless, helping others by giving them players while taking zero points in return. Truly a man that serves others before himself.

Commish’s Pick: WIN vs Mike

BlOrB

12 Jason

RECORD: 2-5
LAST: 13
TREND: uparrow 1

Jason is Brett Favre. He retired and then came back to the B-LG but still sucks.

Commish’s Pick: WIN vs Jay *Lock of the Week*

DirtyMikeAndTheBoyz

13 Mike

RECORD: 1-6
LAST: 12
TREND: uparrow 1

Mike is Leo Messi. Because he loves blonde, bearded men, Argentina, and knows that Messi is the best soccer football player in the world.

Commish’s Pick: LOSS vs Roger

Jay’s Team

14 Jay

RECORD: 2-5
LAST: 14
TREND: uparrow 0

Jay is Nicolas Cage. He was once one of the most prominent and revered names in LED but has since become a nobody.

Commish’s Pick: LOSS vs Jason *Lock of the Week*

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